Dancing to Dirges

Depressing and happy things Tim says, sometimes while drunk

Sunday, May 18, 2008

You need to roll doubles to kill that thing

Finished chapter 18 tonight. I swear, the late stages of this thing are taking longer than I wanted. Good news is that I've caught up in my typing with the handwritten portion. Means that the rest of the book will go straight into electronic. It's good.

Here's the greatest landscaping story ever told. My wife and I were going to see Iron Man on Saturday morning, because we're cheap and we don't like crowds of people. As we walked out our front door, our neighbor Bob walked up and asked for some help. He had gotten his car stuck in his driveway. So, yes, we walked over and saw that is brand new Acura TL was in his driveway, and it was stuck. It was perpendicular to the way you expect to see a car in a driveway, that is, parallel to the road. The front wheels were off the driveway, and had sunk in to the mud. It didn't used to be mud, but they have a drainage problem because their builder was a doof and didn't build a proper ditch, so there's all this drowning grass where you or I or any sane homeowner would have a drainage ditch. Add one front wheel drive Acura TL, and you get mud.

So Jen got in the car and Bob and I pushed and, surprise, nothing happened. We'd get one wheel so that it was rolling up onto the concrete drive, but then the differential would kick in and it would lose power, and the other wheel just dug in to the mud. Couldn't go forward either, because that wheel had dug itself a nice little trench of mud. Eventually I got a plank out of my garage, another neighbor showed up, and the four of us got the car out.

You remember that I called this the greatest landscaping story ever? How did he get stuck? He was landscaping. With his car. He wanted to create a ditch for drainage, and thought he could just drive his car over his lawn a couple times, and that would do the trick. So yes. Greatest story ever.

Meanwhile, my lawnmower died and my grass is already too tall. It'll be at least a week before it gets repaired. In the meantime, my grass keeps growing. I'd borrow a mower from my neighbors, except they all have lawn services. Right. Rolling on.


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