Dancing to Dirges

Depressing and happy things Tim says, sometimes while drunk

Monday, September 20, 2010

The Desolate Nature of the Business

Initial indications are that distribution for The Horns of Ruin will be quite good, and there are already some reviews showing up. I'm hopeful. And of course, all this talk of book releases brings up talk of signings in the Akers' household. I'm resistant to it. Wife and I were talking about this, and I was struggling to express how badly signings sit in my head. They're one of those things that I recognize as important to the business, but I really, really hate doing them.

Put it this way: we all know how socially crippled I am. I just don't deal with people, or groups of people, terribly well. I do okay in formalized settings. Panels seem to go okay, because then I'm performing and I have a set topic and if it goes badly I can just pick a fight. Purely intellectual.

But signings? Realistically it's just sitting at a table with a pen and a stack of books. But really? It's sitting at a table for three hours with a pen and no one who walks by will make eye contact with you like you're some kind of eye-borne disease, and there's this stack of books, but not just books but *your* book that you bled into and sweated over and crafted like your life depended on it because let's be serious, your life does depend on it. And eventually they let you go and you can crawl back into your hole and hope no one ever, ever, ever asks you to make eye contact with a stranger ever again. Never.

So that's why I don't like signings. But I recognize that they're important.


At 10:58 AM , Anonymous Mike A said...

I can so relate to everything you say! I'm fine with an audience but rubbish with people. My wife's the opposite - fine with one-to-one, but locks up if asked to address a room.

Anyway, I reckon you should devise the book-signing equivalent of a Catholic confession box - be the mysterious priest behind the curtain. A small hatch should suffice for passing the books back and forth. ;-)

At 4:28 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh.Gee. I hate to be blunt but you really
need to get over yourself. It's like a movie star
not wanting to sign my 8x10 cuz they don't
feel like it. It pains them. So do it full steam
or don't cuz meetings fans
shouldn't be a chore. - Angie

At 2:18 PM , Blogger Tim Akers said...

Interesting reaction. I promise you it's not like that, honest. I'm more than happy (and stunned, frankly) to meet fans when and as I can. But the honest truth is that even writers who are a great deal more successful than me hold signings and no one comes to them. My disklike has nothing to do with not wanting to meet fans, or not wanting to be troubled by them, or anything that self-centered. I'm honestly convinced that pretty much no one would show up. That's the thing I don't like.

Sorry you read it the way you did, but that's not my way. I am *nothing* like a movie star.

At 2:20 PM , Blogger Tim Akers said...

And I used some form of the word "honest" three times in that one paragraph. That's how you can tell I'm being sincere.

At 3:35 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm... Okay, sorry, well I guess I didn't get
that 'customers avoiding eye contact' meant
sitting at a table alone for hours. I can see
how that could be a kick to your self esteem.
I've seen writers just sit there alone and it LOOKS
painful, however I always smile as I walk by.

I'm looking forward to the new book!
- Angie


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home