The World will know me
See, I was going to post yesterday, but before I did I realized that I was way, way too depressed. I try to not post when I'm that far down, because god. You don't want to read that. But things are better today. I'm still tracking why that might be.
One of the things that got me up was reading a story I wrote something like three years ago. It was horrible. I mean, not *bad* bad, but bad enough that I wouldn't have sent it out to magazines. But I liked the central idea, so I just dumped the unsalvageable bits (that would be all the words, and the punctuation, and also the specific plot structure that I chose) and am now working on a rough draft. I think this is good, because it'll serve as a break between book stuff. Again, it's nice to see that I'm better now than I was three years ago.
I've been thinking a lot about Clarion. For those of you unaware, Clarion (East and West) is a six week writing class. It focuses on short stories and is taught by various luminaries in the SF/F world. People who go swear by it. And I don't doubt it's great, but I've never had the time. Does this reflect a lack of commitment on my part? No, it reflects a mortgage and a wife who expects me to pay my half of the Discover bill, which I think is a perfectly reasonable expectation. And I think I've learned a lot about writing just by writing. If the story I pulled out last night is any indication, I've learned a *lot* about writing.
But I'll tell you the thing I miss. Community. Clarion grads know each other. They keep in touch. There's a sense of belonging in being a Clarion graduate. Me, I'm just a rogue author. You meet me at a con, you have no idea how well I write. I could be a nice guy and a shitty writer. I know my fair share.
Anyway. I'm just thinking outloud here. The nice thing about Calgary was that it was like having friends. The bad thing was that I was reminded I really only have friends once or twice a year. I trade one great week for one really bad week of withdrawal. Next week it's back to slightly even keel, and a good deal of work.
Totally my fault. And I'll do something about it, someday. Not having friends does free up a lot of time for writing. So there's that.