Dancing to Dirges

Depressing and happy things Tim says, sometimes while drunk

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

These are excuses that I'm giving you

I don't know if I haven't blogged in a while because I'm lazy, or because I don't have anything to say, or if I'm just too damn busy to be interesting. It's all up in the air right now. I'm taking some time off next week to attend World Fantasy Con in Madison (anyone in Madison want to buy me a beer. Do I even know anyone in Madison?) and things are always hectic leading up to that.

I haven't gotten a lot of writing done in the last week or so, because I'm charging my psychic batteries to be "on" for the convention. I have one story that is pretty much revised and ready to submit. I don't want to send it out, though, because I have another story sitting at Black Static. Under "serious consideration" at Black Static, I should say. And that story and this story share a common setting. In fact, this is the third story in that setting, and the first one already sold. So if the second one sells, I'd really like to be able to say that in the cover letter. Dear editor, this is the third story I've written in this world. The first two have sold to very reputable markets. I'm willing to let you buy this one, but only if you're quick. I am the next big thing. Buy this story now, before I leave you in my dust. Hurry up, do it. Now. You're getting left behind. Your friends will make fun of you. They'll gather in haute bars and huddle over their drinks and whisper "poor editor X. He could have bought the third story in that series. But he didn't, and now rats live in his scrotum. Or her ovaries. Depending on who we're talking about, here." and you'll have to sit outside in the cold and the windy and wonder why oh why didn't I buy that story. And then you'll gnash your teeth.

Or I could just not write that cover letter, because I'm pretty sure I'd lose their attention somewhere around "leave you in my dust." At least that way they'd never get to the part about their scrotums (and/or ovaries, depending on who we're talking about here) and they wouldn't blacklist me.

Then again, maybe I'll just submit the story and let it stand on its own merits. Right? Merits count, don't they?


At 11:04 AM , Blogger Splitcoil said...

Don't be an idiot. Merit doesn't count.

At 1:55 PM , Blogger colin said...

Too bad they wouldn't get to the scrotum/ovaries part; that was my favorite.

At 6:30 PM , Blogger Splitcoil said...

What? You like both the scrotum and the ovaries? Come on, man, make a choice. Stop sitting on the fence. You'll ruin your scrotum.

At 2:37 PM , Blogger bootsofblack said...

I was thinking that ruining your scrotum would be a hairy situation. Then I realized it actually wouldn't.

At 10:05 PM , Blogger Splitcoil said...

Word just came in, Shad. The Earth Liberation Front has declared you a target. It seems that in order to publish this batch of stories of yours that have recently been accepted, Interzone is having to clear-cut an old-growth forest in Venezuela to get enough paper. Better switch back to blogging for awhile. For the trees, man. For the trees.

At 6:19 AM , Blogger Tim Akers said...

Fuck the trees. I want a posse of bitches and bitchin' rims for my audi. Fuck. The. Trees.

At 9:28 AM , Blogger colin said...

Mmmm... Tree fucking...

Oops. Did I say that out loud?


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